I'm one of those people that's a little difficult. Everything about me is difficult. From the way I act around other people to the way I sabotage relationships, I'm difficult. My attitude is almost always negative. I'm confusing and confused all the time. I have an anxiety disorder. I can't think straight. I can never stay on one topic for long. I don't really like people. I'm just difficult. If you know me, I'm difficult. It took me a while to admit that I'm difficult and to realize that's why people don't like me. It also took me a while to realize that you can't stop being difficult over night. It's difficult to stop being difficult. Someone that likes a challenge is the person for me.
I've been waiting for a very long time for someone to take on this challenge. I've yearned for the person that looks at me and sees all the good and forgets about all the difficult. The person that sees all the bad and realizes that those things make up all the good in me. I've just been waiting. And it hit me today that I already have that person. A person I can physically touch and see with my own eyes. A person that gets me.
meet heather
she's my best friend.
she gets me.
It's a little difficult for me to write this post. Heather would understand. I don't do well with affection. I don't particularly enjoy showing affection. Nor am I really comfortable with affection. Quality time tells me that someone cares. Not compliments and reminders. But, nonetheless, it's about time that I admit this.
Heather Moss is my best friend. She's the most gracious person I've ever met. She's understanding. She's smart. She's pretty. Quite genuinely, she is probably the best friend that I've ever had. We don't fight. We unspokenly disagree. She is always there for me 100% of the time. She tells me what I want to hear when I want to hear it. And she tells me what I need to hear when I need to hear it. She sees things in me that I, nor most others, see. She thinks I'm this awesome person. When in all actuality, she's usually just describing herself. She is, inside and out, one of the most beautiful people you'll meet. She radiates with sunshine. She lets me be difficult.
It took us a very long time to become friends. I did not like her, because I don't like anyone. And she didn't like me, because I'm difficult. I thought she cried too much. I'm not entirely sure what she thought of me. I'm sure it wasn't as great as she'd tell you that I am today. But, despite the length of time it took for God to give her to me, I'd wait a thousand more years if I had to. Even if I could only have one day of her friendship and I had to wait twenty years, I'd do it. God gave her to me at exactly the right time. I think he knew how badly I would need her, and she would believe she needed me. When I couldn't do anything right, and everything was going wrong, I had Heather. When nothing made sense and I didn't know anything, she helped me to know she was there. I'll stand by her till the day I die if she wants. She's incredible. And I'm going to miss her dearly whenever we eventually separate. But distance won't affect us, I don't think. I don't think anything could phase Heather's friendship, thank goodness.
Because she is, truly, my best friend.
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