Recently, I was...prompted to write a letter to myself. Heather did it for school. And I realized it must be fairly theraputic. Obviously, I can't give this to myself. Obviously, there's no going back to help myself. But, it was theraputic. This is what I'd say.
Hello, Lynz.
I’d ask how you’re doing, but I already know. I know how you’ve been, how you are, and how you’re going to be. I know every bit of it. And I’m here to give you guidance; to comfort you and to help you.
Things are about to get…really bad. I know, you’re elated right now. You’re on cloud nine. And nothing could possibly bring you down. But I assure, something will bring you down. And it is going to be destructive. You’re not going to know what to do.
You’re going to think the world has left you. Your heart will be ripped out, stomped on, torn apart, spit on, and left in pieces. You will never feel so alone in your entire life. You’re going to feel empty. I can’t even begin to describe the emptiness and desperation that is about to take hold of you.
It’s okay for you to feel this way. That’s the most important thing I could possibly tell you. You’re justified in feeling this way. People won’t understand. They’ll judge you, call you crazy, and leave you to your own. And that will make it worse. But it’s important to know that you are allowed to feel this way. You love so deeply, so wholly, and so passionately. As such, you’re allowed, and justified, in feeling this way. Never, ever, apologize for feeling this way.
You’re going to need help. Real, professional help. Take the help. Don’t fight it. Don’t feel bad. This help is good for you. It will help you. You need to learn to talk about these things.
Don’t let this define you. Yes, this will make you who you are. This will change you forever. But don’t let it be who you are. How you are, yes. Who you are, no. This will help you to become a better person. This will help you to be who you are.
Don’t be an idiot. You know better. You’re a smart kid. But, you’re going to consider doing some stupid things. I know it’s hard to have self-worth. I know it’s hard to think you’re beautiful and amazing when you feel so worthless and insignificant. But, Lynz, NEVER accept anyone who treats you badly. I don’t care if you feel like you deserve to be treated that way. Wait for the man who knows how to treat you. He’ll come. Don’t settle for garbage.
Making all of these mistakes and choices will make you who you are. Learn from the things you do. They’ll be incredibly beneficial to you. You’ll find what makes you truly happy. You’ll find your strength. Never forget it. Never lose it. It is crucial to your happiness.
There will be a few people that want to help you through this. These people will keep you alive. They’ll keep you sane and happy. Let them in. Let them help. And one day, a guy will come along. And he’ll make you deliriously happy. It’s going to be hard for you to let him in. It’s still hard me, or us, to let him in right now. But it’s going to make you happy.
I’m not going to give you any answers. Because that takes away from life. You’ll figure it out on your own. Be careful. Be smart. Love yourself.
If i weren't at school when i read this i probably would have cried. Just sayin'. Haha. I love you! (:
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